He's just not that into you.

[DrSmellThis]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/11/29/books.hes.not.into.you.ap/index.html

[Newbie gal]

Actually, this is a 'mystery' to us girls. It happened to me, and it happened to most of my girl friends. We talked about it, we analysed the situation and we speculated. But the big real question is why isn't he not that into me when all previous dates or calls show that he's really into me.

[chococat]

Introduction by Liz
Introduction by Greg
You Are All Dating the Same Guy
1 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out
2 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You
3 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
4 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex with You
5 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else
6 He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk
7 He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You
8 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You
9 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You
10 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11 He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak
12 Don't Listen to These Stories
13 Now What Do You Do?
14 Q&A with Greg
15 Closing Remarks from Greg
16 Closing Remarks from LizThis is the table of contents from this book.

This book is becoming so wide-spread as some sort of fountain of knowledge. What strikes me as idiotic (and possibly a good reflection of how American society functions) is that "The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" basically says the same thing as this book and gives a fairly fool-proof plan of action on how to act, what to expect, and how to interpret a man's actions.

However, it seems like women (and men!) are inclined to deny that there is some kind of truth in The Rules. They say it's sexist, old-fashioned, and they hate to accept that the authors might know what they're talking about. They'll probably go out and buy "He's Just Not That Into You" and reach some kind of enlightenment.

I have no idea why women seem to be more ready to value the advice of a man over the advice of a woman. They're equally knowledgeable. I may not *be* a man, but I have spent plenty of time around them and I *certainly* know when I'm lacking something or not being treated the way I'd like to be treated. You'd think that women who fail in relationships over and over again would eventually catch onto the pattern of what effectively "gets" a guy for the longterm, but they seem to prefer pretending that gender differences don't exist, that what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Sometimes it's true, that we're looking for the same things, but most of the time there are a lot of differences that people are just uncomfortable talking about.

I love reading books on male psychology. I think it's a subject that has been largely ignored.


We don't *get into* relationships for the same reasons. Period.