Great Sex On Wednesday!

[MOBLEYC57]

HOW TO DRIVE YOUR WOMAN COMPLETELY NUTS!:whip:

Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together. One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?"

"Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild."

Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!"

Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my cock on the curtain. Drives her nuts!":run:

:box:THE FEMALE'S ULTIMATE ORGASM:box:


The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. Having sensed her approach, the handsome stranger turned. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance. Slowly, he sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh, holding it, touching it with tender loving care. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam, as the pure thought penetrated her, causing her heart to speed up its thump. She was overcome with an aching desire deep within, that had gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!" Seeing the confident smile on his face with his every move, she accepted the unknowing. Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned for more. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again.................Don't you just love shopping for SHOES!? :cheers:



Tis HUMP DAY! Everybody find someone to hump! :drunk:

[MOBLEYC57]

TWO DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

HER STORY: :wub:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.

So we went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something else. I ask him, and he says no. But you know I'm not really sure.

So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell this means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything.

We finally get back to his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me! So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes, he joins me and we have sex.

But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? :think:



HIS STORY: :think:

Shitty day at work. Tired. Got laid though. :wub:

[MOBLEYC57]

SHE'LL SCREW ANYBODY! :wub:

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me."

The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do you work for?"

A switching of the words, but still a classic! :rofl:
A NYPHO CONVENTION :thumbsup:

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago" He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really!", he said, "what myths are those?"

"Well", she explained, "one popular myth is that American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."


HUMP DAY is tomorrow ... get ready to get'cha hump on!:whip: