Tom
05-10-2005, 12:05 AM
Hi, I am 32, and just meet 24 years girls. I talk to her few hours and look OK.
any suggestions how to handle this girls (for serious, long relationship)?
Important data:
I am Asian live in Asian Country. so it is more close than in Western country. and the girls also will be more waiting compared to western girl.
My comments are using ">>" mark
and the one which I am not clear is using ?
I read David DeAngelo news letter : Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
but some is make me confuse:
THE SPECIFICS... WHAT, WHEN, HOW WHY, WHERE...
Here are some specific ideas for dating younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They're not a different species, and everything else that you've learned from me applies as well.
1) Be Cool, Dude.
2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER.
3) Don't try to follow or get her to lead.
4) Don't try to take advantage of the situation.
5) Don't intrude on or interfere with her life.
6) Let her come to you... don't chase her.
7) EXPECT her to change.
8) Be CHIVILROUS. (Sifat Ksatria)
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her.
1) Be Cool, Dude.
>> I agree.
2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER.
Now that you're being "cool", take it to the NEXT LEVEL...
? Use one of my favorite personal techniques, and treat her like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS.
? Tease her.
? Make fun.
? It's OK, go for it.
? Say all the things you never had a chance to say when you were a freshman.
Now's your big chance!
? And don't worry about it when she plays "fake mad". Just turn it up some more.
? Oh, and call her on everything she does or says that's immature.
I can't go into all the reasons why this is a great idea, but it is. You keep your power, you have all kinds of opportunities to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always keep things interesting and challenging.
Oh, and it's COMPLETELY different than the way most Wussies treat her... which is good.
>> I am not so clear about this. can somebody help and explain please ?
3) Don't try to follow or get her to lead.
> I agree
4) Don't try to take advantage of the situation.
Most attractive young women have had at LEAST one "icky older guy" that "tried something" with her.
Younger women are HYPER-ALERT when it comes to sketchy behavior.
If you try to take advantage of the situation or try to "make a move" too early, you'll most likely signal to her that you're a "perv" and that you aren't to be trusted.
Lean back.
Chill.
Give her room.
when you walk down the street with her, bump into her and push her AWAY from you.
Tell her not to walk too close to you... tell her that other people might think something.
If you're alone with her in your living room, don't sit right next to her.
If she touches you while talking, don't touch her back... or even make fun of it and say "Keep your hands off the goods".
>> I think the girl also can think I am too arrogant ?
or can she think that I am not interesting ?
5) Don't intrude on or interfere with her life.
You must remember that younger women have lives of their own.
Often they're very close to their families, and they're unsure of how their families would respond if they found out that their pride and joy daughter was dating an older guy.
Remember, she just got FREE of the overbearing father... and she doesn't need a new one.
Don't call her at work, don't show up to see her unexpectedly, and don't embarrass her.
If you want to make an attractive young woman perform magic (the instant disappearing act), just interfere with her life.
She's free, so let her be free. Encourage it, even. Don't interfere.
>> This look like for 18-20 year girl. Is this also applied for 24 years old ? Yes, I know I must limiting the interfere. but can ask little bit about her lives, hobby, and others topics like that ?
6) Let her come to you... don't chase her.
If you want to make friends with a cat, the best tactic is to IGNORE IT.
Cats are interesting creatures.
Have you ever noticed that if you chase a cat, it will run... but if you sit and ignore it, you'll soon find yourself pushing it off of your lap?
Same goes for younger women.
Like I just mentioned, younger women have often just "escaped" from controlling parents, structured lives, and zero freedom.
If she's attracted to you, it's not because you're creating the environment that she just left... it's because you represent something different.
You'll find that if you call her all the time and chase her, she'll be harder to get a hold of, and less likely to continue to see you.
If you let her go, let her live her life, and make yourself more scarce, you'll be more likely to have her pursuing YOU.
Be the man that she's always dreamed about, and then don't chase her.
>> In my opinion we as man still need to start the actions, but maybe not as much as with older woman. but we need to chase (not so intense) what do you think ?
if we only wait the girl also will think that I am not interesting.
7) EXPECT her to change.
If you're dating a woman between the ages of 18 and 23, you need to remember that her life is probably going to change DRAMATICALLY over the next few years.
You need to keep an open mind, and not try to restrict or hinder her options.
You need to expect and even encourage her to grow, change, and become all she can be.
The reality is that the chances are SLIM that she's going to be with you in a few years.
In fact, the chances are slim that she's even going to be the same person in a few years.
Get over it, and be OK with it.
Challenge her to grow, achieve, and be her best... and don't accept second-class behavior from her.
But she's going to change, so expect it.
>> How about 24 years ? as this say 18-23
I think they are almost change. or already change little bit.
8) Be CHIVILROUS.
>> I agree
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama.
>> I agree.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her.
Younger women are less in-control of their emotions... and can become attached more quickly and easily.
The "trigger" for a woman "becoming attached" is how often you see her and talk to her.
If you want to trigger the "relationship" mechanism, spend a lot of time with her.
If you DON'T want to trigger those emotions, you need to limit the time you spend with her.
? As a rule of thumb, don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week unless you want her to start becoming very attached to you.
And I don't care what you SAY... it's the AMOUNT OF TIME you spend with her that makes this determination.
Trust me.
>> Regarding the rule of thumb. I still not yet clear about it.
don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week .
Is this only for begining or what ?
Thanks.
any suggestions how to handle this girls (for serious, long relationship)?
Important data:
I am Asian live in Asian Country. so it is more close than in Western country. and the girls also will be more waiting compared to western girl.
My comments are using ">>" mark
and the one which I am not clear is using ?
I read David DeAngelo news letter : Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
but some is make me confuse:
THE SPECIFICS... WHAT, WHEN, HOW WHY, WHERE...
Here are some specific ideas for dating younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They're not a different species, and everything else that you've learned from me applies as well.
1) Be Cool, Dude.
2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER.
3) Don't try to follow or get her to lead.
4) Don't try to take advantage of the situation.
5) Don't intrude on or interfere with her life.
6) Let her come to you... don't chase her.
7) EXPECT her to change.
8) Be CHIVILROUS. (Sifat Ksatria)
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her.
1) Be Cool, Dude.
>> I agree.
2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER.
Now that you're being "cool", take it to the NEXT LEVEL...
? Use one of my favorite personal techniques, and treat her like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS.
? Tease her.
? Make fun.
? It's OK, go for it.
? Say all the things you never had a chance to say when you were a freshman.
Now's your big chance!
? And don't worry about it when she plays "fake mad". Just turn it up some more.
? Oh, and call her on everything she does or says that's immature.
I can't go into all the reasons why this is a great idea, but it is. You keep your power, you have all kinds of opportunities to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always keep things interesting and challenging.
Oh, and it's COMPLETELY different than the way most Wussies treat her... which is good.
>> I am not so clear about this. can somebody help and explain please ?
3) Don't try to follow or get her to lead.
> I agree
4) Don't try to take advantage of the situation.
Most attractive young women have had at LEAST one "icky older guy" that "tried something" with her.
Younger women are HYPER-ALERT when it comes to sketchy behavior.
If you try to take advantage of the situation or try to "make a move" too early, you'll most likely signal to her that you're a "perv" and that you aren't to be trusted.
Lean back.
Chill.
Give her room.
when you walk down the street with her, bump into her and push her AWAY from you.
Tell her not to walk too close to you... tell her that other people might think something.
If you're alone with her in your living room, don't sit right next to her.
If she touches you while talking, don't touch her back... or even make fun of it and say "Keep your hands off the goods".
>> I think the girl also can think I am too arrogant ?
or can she think that I am not interesting ?
5) Don't intrude on or interfere with her life.
You must remember that younger women have lives of their own.
Often they're very close to their families, and they're unsure of how their families would respond if they found out that their pride and joy daughter was dating an older guy.
Remember, she just got FREE of the overbearing father... and she doesn't need a new one.
Don't call her at work, don't show up to see her unexpectedly, and don't embarrass her.
If you want to make an attractive young woman perform magic (the instant disappearing act), just interfere with her life.
She's free, so let her be free. Encourage it, even. Don't interfere.
>> This look like for 18-20 year girl. Is this also applied for 24 years old ? Yes, I know I must limiting the interfere. but can ask little bit about her lives, hobby, and others topics like that ?
6) Let her come to you... don't chase her.
If you want to make friends with a cat, the best tactic is to IGNORE IT.
Cats are interesting creatures.
Have you ever noticed that if you chase a cat, it will run... but if you sit and ignore it, you'll soon find yourself pushing it off of your lap?
Same goes for younger women.
Like I just mentioned, younger women have often just "escaped" from controlling parents, structured lives, and zero freedom.
If she's attracted to you, it's not because you're creating the environment that she just left... it's because you represent something different.
You'll find that if you call her all the time and chase her, she'll be harder to get a hold of, and less likely to continue to see you.
If you let her go, let her live her life, and make yourself more scarce, you'll be more likely to have her pursuing YOU.
Be the man that she's always dreamed about, and then don't chase her.
>> In my opinion we as man still need to start the actions, but maybe not as much as with older woman. but we need to chase (not so intense) what do you think ?
if we only wait the girl also will think that I am not interesting.
7) EXPECT her to change.
If you're dating a woman between the ages of 18 and 23, you need to remember that her life is probably going to change DRAMATICALLY over the next few years.
You need to keep an open mind, and not try to restrict or hinder her options.
You need to expect and even encourage her to grow, change, and become all she can be.
The reality is that the chances are SLIM that she's going to be with you in a few years.
In fact, the chances are slim that she's even going to be the same person in a few years.
Get over it, and be OK with it.
Challenge her to grow, achieve, and be her best... and don't accept second-class behavior from her.
But she's going to change, so expect it.
>> How about 24 years ? as this say 18-23
I think they are almost change. or already change little bit.
8) Be CHIVILROUS.
>> I agree
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama.
>> I agree.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her.
Younger women are less in-control of their emotions... and can become attached more quickly and easily.
The "trigger" for a woman "becoming attached" is how often you see her and talk to her.
If you want to trigger the "relationship" mechanism, spend a lot of time with her.
If you DON'T want to trigger those emotions, you need to limit the time you spend with her.
? As a rule of thumb, don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week unless you want her to start becoming very attached to you.
And I don't care what you SAY... it's the AMOUNT OF TIME you spend with her that makes this determination.
Trust me.
>> Regarding the rule of thumb. I still not yet clear about it.
don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week .
Is this only for begining or what ?
Thanks.