I was walking across a bridge one day...

[Mtnjim]

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on
the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do
it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious?" He said yes.

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist"

"Wow! Me too! "Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of
the Lord?" "Baptist Church of the Lord!"

"Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you
reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of
1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He
said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
(Emo Philips)