Quote Originally Posted by sexycat View Post
Here's

the situation: I'm 32, and I live with my boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years. For the past 2 years, I've

been on the Pill. It completely killed my sex drive over time. I just stopped taking it, and we have agreed to use

condoms for a while so I can get my sex drive back. What does everybody recommend for getting my bf's and my motors

running again? I want hot sex again!! We need serious help. The less you have sex, the less you want it. Since I

haven't wanted it, he's barely wanted it. I want us to have great sex like we used to before my sex drive took a

nosedive.

Please help
Good question. You are correct that the pill can kill attraction and intimacy

betweeen people. It did the only time a girlfriend of mine ever tried it. The pill is shown in research to change

your attraction to almost the opposite kind of people you normally should be attracted to in some respects. So it

will distort your true chemistry with a person; and with all others. Don't blame yourselves when it could just be a

temporary biological cause.

As far as products, you might try anything with copulins and -nol, and then mix that

with Edge for women, which has things in it that will affect you as well as your boyfriend. But pheromones won't

cure everything by themselves, even if they can help significantly.

You both need to accept each others'

sexualities, which might not be exactly as you would dial it up in your shiny knight fantasies.

It ain't going

to happen because both of you sort of wish it would. You want to really hold the intention of improving your sex

life, without forcing anything. Forcing sexual vibes on a guy can shut down his plumbing and confidence, which

depend on being relaxed.

Go easy on the alcohol and drugs, because these inhibit sexual response even if they

help with inhibitions. Your liver plays a role with sex hormones.

Create situations where both of you can be very

relaxed and stress free. This state of being is the foundation for sexual arousal, especially for people with sexual

issues and problems. Trust me, because I don't want to explain all the biology here.

Examine your attitudes

about sexuality and your boyfriend's sexuality. If you aren't "sex positive", and sex positive toward your

boyfriend, you have an issue.

What is your personal stumbling block toward letting yourself go and letting

yourself experience intimacy? Do you have trust issues, for example, or commitment issues, etc? You need to be to an

extent master of these issues, to really wrap yourself around them and negotiate it so it's not trashing your sex

life.

For a woman, testosterone is a major hormonal reason for horniness. Anything that gets the kick ass macho

hormones flowing in you will likely also make you horny; perhaps some kind of physical activity or a roller derby

show. You get the drift. You could also boost testosterone nutritionally, with supplements or whatever. Sasparilla

is an herb that does this, although there are other ones. Make some natural root beer, as both those herbs boost

testosterone. But again, there is much to research here.

If it doesn't repulse you too much, you can try some

porn of different "genres". You can go into it with the idea that you are just going to be open minded and expand

the kind of things and situations you can be aroused by, or expand your level of arousal for known arousing

situations. I also suggest porn because it is directly related to a part of typical male sexuality that it is

helpful for a woman to understand/accept. So it can sometimes be a bridge builder.

Most guys want acceptance and

love. Trust is essential as well. Foster these things in yourself and you will foster conditions necesssary for

intimacy.

Where you have the conditions necessary for intimacy in an emotional sense, you will have conditions

necessary for sex.

Hopefully your boyfriend is also willing to work on having a better sex life. But we can't

really advise him when he's not here.

If it doesn't work, which I really hope it does, I'll be happy to come

over and screw you silly.